Never Been To Meath
by Miriamimus
Summary: A pointless scene I felt like writing. I was quite bored. Anyway, Holly comes to the surface for a simple chat with Artemis and Juliet. Nothing more than that. Set after TLC, HollyxTrouble but not much of it. Please R&R, and yes, it's pointless but nice!


I know it's pointless, if you flame, please don't flame about its pointlessness.

Eoin Colfer owns Artemis fowl, and I don't know who owns the line "Never Been to Meath", I've only ever heard it said by Homer Simpson and Dustin the Turkey (if you don't know who he is, I demand you look him up!!!). Anyway, for those of you who don't know (ie. probably most of you) the Hill of Tara is in Meath. You can look that one up to, if, you know, you're into history. Anyway, please R&R

* * *

Artemis and Juliet sat behind the mound that was the hill of Tara. Tourists never came to this side, at least, your average tourist did not. Besides, it had rained the day before and the ground of the field was squelch underfoot on the main walkways. But here where the ground was not so worn it was quite firm.

Butler was away on holiday. After the three years Artemis was gone, he had begun taking holidays. Juliet had happily filled in, though was in a slightly miffed mood. She had had to don her pink and orange stripy wellies. Well, she didn't HAVE to, but she hadn't got a chance to wear them yet. The problem was, they did not go well with the Armani.

Artemis checked his watch. She had said two, and she had never been late before. It was 1.59. 56, 57, 58, 59. The digits switched and his watch beeped twice, telling him the hour had come. He looked round. There, over there, was a slight shimmering. Just next to the mound.

Holly stopped shielding and half ran, half flew down to them and caught Artemis in a full on hug, wrapping her arms tightly around her very best friend in the world.

"Holly. Pleasure." he said as they broke apart.

"You too Artemis." she smiled and nodded over his shoulder. "Juliet."

"Hey Holly."

"So Holly. What could you not say on the phone?" he asked.

"Nothing bad." said Holly. "I just…Artemis!"

"Yes?" he asked nonchalantly.

"You're wearing jeans." she exclaimed.

"Yes, they're rather comfortable really."

Holly shook her head in disbelief.

"You're changing Artemis."

He smiled, showing his incisors. "I do believe I am. But what's wrong?"

"I'll explain. Are we going back to the manor?"

"Yes." said Juliet not letting Artemis answer. She listed her reasons. "One, because we're in a field that isn't secure, two, because at any moment a tourist could come wandering over that mound and see Holly, three, because it would appear Holly doesn't want to stay here either, four, because it's about to rain and five, these boots clash with the suit. Badly."

Holly grinned. "So you have your memories back?" she asked Juliet as she shielded and they began to walk back.

"Yup. Butler triggered them for me while you were away."

"And did you graduate?"

"With flying colours." smiled Juliet stretching her arms. "And I won the Woman's US Wrestling Championship. Under an assumed name, of course."

They reached the car and Artemis and Holly climbed into the back seat as Juliet settled in the front, unceremoniously removing the wellies and dumping them in the passenger seat, slipping on her stilettos again. If she fought, she fought without shoes and there was no need to be a walking fashion crisis. Artemis watched bemused.

"I wonder what Butler would say." he mused.

"That I shouldn't worry about shoes. But these are nice shoes, wouldn't you agree Holly?" She moved her leg in a way that shouldn't be humanly possible, but apparently was, to wiggle her foot at Holly.

"They ARE nice shoes." agreed Holly vigorously. She caught Artemis' eye and said defensively "Well, they are. Am I not allowed to appreciate shoes?" She looked down at her own feet. She was wearing regulation boots because none of her shoes went with the Section 8 suit, and she needed the suit for the wings, since no self-respecting LEP officer ever went to he surface without wings, even if they were off duty.

Artemis must have read her mind because he said "Unfortunately I don't think any of Juliet's shoes would fit you."

Juliet checked her mirror. "No, your feet are a tad smaller than mine. Though I do have a pair of flats that would go perfectly with that suit."

Holly grinned. She had great affection for the Butler family, Butler was her companion in appreciating Foaly's technology but not understanding a word Foaly or Artemis said, and you just had to love Juliet anyway.

"Where is Butler anyway?" she asked.

"Crete." answered Artemis simply. "Holly, what did you want?"

"Not wanting to talk then Artemis?" she asked.

"No, it's just that you got a surface permit and everything, and you ask to come see us because there's something you can't say on the phone and you don't seem to be saying anything."

"If it's top secret and I can't know," piped up Juliet. "I have earplugs here."

Holly smiled. "It's nothing like that. I just wanted to talk to you Artemis."

"Really?"

"Really. I just…" she trailed off and then started again. "You think three years wouldn't be bad, considering us fairies live so long, and I get back and everything's fine. Better than it was, in fact."

Artemis nodded. He too, had had problems with missing three years of his life, but he and Holly had talked lots about it on the phone. This was her turn.

"I mean, you think I'm the girl that's got everything. I'm famous, more so than ever. I've got a great apartment, my ferns are thriving, I've got shares in a company that could soon rival the LEP. You know, Short, Diggums and Day."

Artemis nodded again.

"And despite that, the LEP are ready to take me back, welcome me back with open arms. And that's all without Trouble in the equation."

"Trouble? What trouble?" asked Juliet, never as discreet as her brother.

Holly laughed. "Trouble Kelp. Commander of the LEP. I'm sort of going out with him."

"Trouble Kelp? Is he the really gung-ho one?" Holly nodded. "That Butler knocked out?" Another nod. "The super-hot one?" Holly nodded and blushed.

"Lucky you." muttered Juliet.

"But it's just, I feel like I'm living someone else's life, Artemis. And you're the only one I can talk to."

"But you know you can always talk to me, right?" he asked.

"Yeah." said Holly. "That's it, really. I just wanted to see you. So how're the twins?"

They talked about the twins, his parents and Juliet's wrestling career the whole way back to Fowl Manor. They pulled smoothly into the driveway and Juliet pulled the handbrake before saying

"Well that was an experience. I've never been to Meath."


End file.
